untiltle.....

when u just don't know what to do, bored with everything- jobs, life.. everything just bored.. dunno wat to do... arghhh..... what should i do..... GOD, please lead me your way, so can i choose the right path... straight to you....

i'm sorry... i can forgive, but i'll never forget...

juz few hours, i'll finish my study... n here, I'm getting melancholic.. feels like a child trapped in a teen body (i'm a teen?? or adult already?? dunno n dun care..) may be i juz not grow up in suppose-to-be way, or i juz couldn't cope with everything.. everything being strain and i want to be better person. people around me and environment i live in made me like this. juz simple, yet very complicated person on earth. i envy seeing my friends talk to their family like friends when i couldn't be like that. true, the situation getting better. yet, it seems that still i cannot forget the past. when the situations are repeating themselves, only on difference people and it produce different outcome, it seems time being means to me. like it mocking me because who i am. like i dun deserve better treatment. sorry and sorry.. i juz being me. even i know, i deserve things, but in my heart, there's a small voice said who i am to be deserve like that. please memories, juz go away...... juz go, like it never exist..... i want to be a better person...

few more hours

few more hours, we will say goodbye to each other.. 4 years had passed.. i hope, even we say good bye this time, we will meet again. all good and bad memories will be kept close to my heart, as they will be the memories of you and me together. so long my friends. if this is the last time we are together, i hope you will be success and remember all those memories we created together... good bye...

thesis, penjual ikan, jelousy & SPM's result....

urgh... it's not a good combination. but, hey!! that's the real life. it's sucks... yes, i know... lets go with the flow and sort it one bey one. shall we??


 it complimentary n important, but still, i hate it. I. Hate. Doing. Thesis. hahaha... as simple as that. i can sit in front my lappy, n make a staring contest with the screen without even typing a single nor alphabet. my mind goes blank. but, hey. let's face. sooner or latter, i have to do it, right? so,now i have to make it as ' Fake it, until you make it'. it's hard, but i think i'll survive. Do the things that doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. Am i trying to advice/ preaching my self?? hahaha.. i don't know. going crazy already..

 

second topic, penjual ikan. i know. yes i do. it's weird, but it is. Or we can translate it into, sell-fish. Know what i mean?? >.<... hehehe... unfortunate to my self, i found people like this. But, it helps me to know this world better. if you want to be 'penjual ikan', it's soooooo wrong, in soooo many level. Sometimes, yes, we need to be 'penjual ikan', but please, look around your self n see. If other people so in need, please don't be heartless (or hati hilang. sorry for readers, this is direct translation) n be ' penjual ikan'. Other people can be heartless too. please remember!! For those people who always 'mengalah', it doesn't mean that you lose. Because, it's definitely not all the 'mengalah' ones, is lose but they are actually the winner.. haha.. i think, i kinda twisted  the words. Yes, definitely, i'm going crazy.. ahaks!!

jealousy is sucks!! n it can kills too..  but, seriously, it can kill someone, deep, deep inside. just like the negative thought kills you. it will affect your life like you never can imagine and twist you into some sadistic n crazy (i dunno, may be it's just true) way. i felt jealous before. but, i'm trying my best to twist it into something good to support both, me and the person that i felt jealous for. it's a win-win situation an i like to view my glass as half-cup full, not half-cup empty.. but, if you look closely, jealousy person is just so funny. they can't even realise them selves. Just like the cartoon above.. funny, it isn't?

 the last topic. For all SPM candidates, please... get hold to your selves. You do just find. whatever the result is, you do your best. Specially to my both 'bodyguards'. hehehe.. my beloved lil' bro n my cousin. you'll do just find. just be redha, but not pasrah.. God works in ways that His slaves ever think. so, be calm and keep COOL.  ALL DA BEST!!!

Ada apa dengan MARAH???

marah??? ade sape2 yg marah x??? hehehe... sekali fikir, alah, marah je pun... jap lagi reda la tu... tapi, tau tak, Anger do more damaged than good?? even, Nabi pun cakap, 'orang yang paling kuat antara kamu, adalah orang yang mampu menahan amarahnya'. betul tak? pernah jumpa ke orang cakap, 'aku tengah marah ni... baek korang jauh skit dari aku'. klu macam tu, aku memang respect la ngan orang yang boleh cakap macam tu, masa dia tengah marah.. sebab, at least dia boleh tahan lagi marahnya, tanpa menyembur orang yang tak terlibat... aku pun hanya mampu diam je bila marah. takut nanti, bila dah start bukak mulut, abih sume orang kena sembur..

tapi, mungkin bagi sesetengah orang akan cakap, 'alah, dia tengah PMS tu. memang lah asyik marah2'. tapi, klu dh lelaki pun asyik marah2, PMS jugak ke tu??? x paham aku... tapi, sepatutnya, orang sekeliling kena la faham... bila somebody tengah marah, please la... stay away kejap, klu tak pun diam je... bagi orang yang tengah marah tu reda. especially bagi orang yang kita dah tau, boleh baca air muka yang mentafsirkan 'AKU TENGAH SERABUT NI... GI MAEN JEJAUH!!!' atau tengah penat. janganlah korang buat bising ke, berleter ke, atau apepe je la... klu tidak, tu yang jadi, suami serang bini sebab bini berleter kat anak semasa si suami baru balik kerja dan dalam keadaan penat n mampu klu nk telan orang skali pun...

but, Please la.... don't blame everything (i mean it, EVERYTHING!!) atas marah... marah boleh buat orang hilang kawalan diri. marah boleh buat orang hilang kewarasan otak. sebab tu, talak dalam keadaan amat marah, tidak diterima pakai (ni ustaz aku bagi tau la...) and kuasa talak ditangan lelaki. bukan pe, perempuan ni emo sikit. eh, banyak jugak la emo.. hihihi... ntah la.. tatau.. tapi klu talak tu kat tangan perempuan, mau nyer setiap saat, ade je orang bercerai (even aku ni perempuan.) banyak la pulak melalut... whatever, PLEASE..... kawal marah anda, and orang sekeliling, tolong la paham, ada orang ditepi anda tengah marah, ok? tolong bagi reda tu bagus, tapi, klu tolong mengapikan tu, patut hentak ke dinding aje orang tu... ok la... chio.. wassalam..

jangan jadi macam ni tau!!!

tapi, cubalah untuk senyum, even tengah marah...  :)

Aku Ingin Mencintai Mu...

aku juga ingin mencintainya...
moga cinta ini, takkan putus...
aku sangat berharap..

Harga Sebuah Kemaafan

maaf, besar sangatkah nilainya? dan berat sangatkah untuk diucapkan? namun, disebalik ucapan maaf, akan terselit perasaan bersalah.... ramai orang menganggap, maaf hanya diperlukan ketika Hari Raya Puasa, tapi andai mentari esok sudah tak bersinar lagi, adakah kita masih perlu menunggu Hari Raya yang hanya setahun sekali (ada yg setahun 2 kali)? tu kalau orang yg hendak diminta kemaafan tu dijumpai, kalau tak dijumpai? ketika di shopping complex atau paling kurang la, semasa tunggu traffic light merah, terjeling orang sebelah lantas mulut laju menyebut, 'eh, tengok rambut orang tu, pelikkan?'. Umi aku akan cakap, 'Berdosa tu kata kat orang tu, bila la nak jumpa dia mintak maaf'. kat situ, baru terdetik dihati, ' ye la. bila aku nak minta maaf kat dia. dia pun aku tak kenal..'

 kalau yang ni, aku pun tatau, kena minta maaf ke tidak...

tapi, bagaimana dengan kawan2 yang lama dah terputus hubungan? atau musuh time kecik-kecik dulu? contoh nya aku la... bila la nak jumpa kawan-kawan dari pra-sekolah (termasuklah yg kat kampung aku pernah duduk dulu) sehingga sekarang? jadi kat sini, aku susun sepuluh jari, nak minta maaf dari kepala sampai ke kaki, termasuklah segala keasalahan yang terbuat secara sengaja atau tak (termakan, terkata, terkutuk dan macam-macam ter... la lagi). especially to one person yang rasanya dah berbakul dosa aku pada dia.. actually termimpikan dia semalam. indahnya kalau duduk sesama tanpa perlu menjeling dengan perasaan amarah... betul tak? jadi, kepada sume, silalah jangan tunggu time raya je... kalau mentari esok sudah tidak bersinar, dimana letaknya persaan untuk memaafkan dan dimaafkan? janganlah hidup anda diselubungi perasaan bersalah, conform tak tenang hidup...

yang ni bukan minta maaf, tapi model je.. sempena Raya Celebration kat kolej...

a step that start the thousand miles journey

salam..
new blog, or it is suppose to be, new life?? it must be the new year mood. we must be brave to continue our life. but, do we brave enough to follow our heart instead of what people surround us will say? be brave and expect the unexpected!! improve our lives if that make us good, but still the same if the new life bring us to the bad thing... or should i advise the same to myself? think and think...

life brief candle, but don't make your self burned!!!